My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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