Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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