In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
