I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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