Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
