youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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