D3 body, D1 cock
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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