Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We need to rekindle our bromance
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This is the high leading the old right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
