oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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