Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
