You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
