her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
