Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
