So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
