Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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