Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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