Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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