She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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