so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've blown a few things in my day
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
