no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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