we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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