I bet he comes in French.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
