Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
its not stalking. its research.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
