She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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