He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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