I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
