the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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