I want to have your abortion
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
