i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
