Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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