she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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