She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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