It's like God shit irony all over that family
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
