I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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