I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
