She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
