Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
