there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
