Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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