Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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