I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
