I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
