ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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