You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
