Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
