Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
