I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
