You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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