oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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