You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
